Simple Thoughts: Sick days

I feel completely icky today. This kind of thing seems to happen to me about once a year. The last time I felt this gross and sick was around for two weeks after graduation. That resulted in making my graduation from college a memorable experience in an unpleasant way.

But that is beside the point. There is just something about sick days. I mean on the one hand yes you are sick but hey a day of curling up on the couch, an endless supply of tea and crazy game shows, it's not too bad every once in a while. I wouldn't ask to be sick but when I am I think I'll make the most of it. Taking a nap in the middle of the afternoon, getting homemade chicken noodle soup delivered by your wonderful mother and a marathon of House, M.D. not the worst way to spend a day not feeling well. So in the time honored tradition of sick people I will veg out on saltines and soup, cuddle up with some blankets and wear my pajamas all day long! Here's to getting better soon!

Simple Thoughts: Technology

So this is a run down of my Saturday evening. Tucked cozily into my recliner with a marathon viewing of Psych running on my TV. It's raining outside and I have a mug of tea. My dog is curled up on the rug taking a nap. It sounds so old fashioned. Well old fashion as far as I'm concerned, old fashioned meaning my growing up years to me :)

I find it entertaining that another part of this little tableau is the fact that both my mom and I have our laptops out utilizing our wireless internet, facebooking up a storm and solidly dating ourselves as members of the twenty-first century. Oh I remember the days when my computer time was limited to 30 minutes on the giant family computer that sat on the desk in the corner of the living room. When connecting to the internet with dial up took forever and sang me a little song in the process. In the days when my mom knew more about everything than me. And now she comes to me for advice on how to use this crazy machine! Back in the day when you had to call someone on a land line to get a hold of them rather connecting with them via social networking. My how the times have changed. I wonder what newfangled contraptions my children will have to teach me how to operate someday! 

Looking Forward

Look - verb: to use one's sight or vision in seeking, searching, examining or watching

     A lot of things have changed in my life over the past year. My first serious relationship. Graduation from college. Moving home. My best friend got married. Flying on my own. Working a full time job. Paying bills. Over time life settles into a routine and the new becomes just ordinary. I walk the same sidewalks to work every day. Drive home taking the same route. Eat dinner and spend time with family. Occasionally I will have evening plans with friends. To most people that's life as usual but I guess I'm tired of the normal and I crave exciting. Anything to break up the sameness.

     This is about the time that my mind gets to wandering. I think about what life holds for me in the future. I love to dream about an apartment of my own. Where I can paint a wall. Shop for little knick knacks to decorate with. Hang pictures of the people I love. Adopt a pet. Cook dinner for myself. Have a big girl job. Be the only one responsible for me. It never fails to cheer me up. But then comes the waiting. I don't have those things yet and I don't know when I'll get them. 

     

     Recently I heard someone talking about vision. And one of the comments they made really stuck with me - We need a vision to get us where we are going in the future; but we need to balance seeing the here and now along the way or down the road we will wonder what we missed out on while we were focused ahead. So I am choosing to enjoy this season of life, including all the routines, because I don't want to look back one day and wonder what adventures might have been right under my nose the whole time.

Simple Thoughts: Scrapbooking

The one artsy thing that I am actually really good at is scrapbooking. I just love the way colors blend together and putting the pieces of a page together like a puzzle. When it all falls into place I just get this amazing feeling like I've created something beautiful.

 

My best friend got married this summer. And since scrapbooking is something I enjoy and consider myself half decent at, she asked me to put together her guest book from her wedding. My bestie and her now hubby are such a cute couple. They are not your typical couple and knowing this, it was not a surprise that they went with a different twist on their guest book. It was neat idea. They did a photo booth and had people write cards as their way of signing their guest book. 

So this is what my process looks like. I pop in a dvd of whatever show is my current obsession. Then I pull out all my supplies and surround myself with them! Everything has to be within easy reach as I sit on the floor and rearrange a page countless times before I am satisfied with the final layout. Then I take the last step of sticking all the pieces down permanently. And voila a masterpiece is born!

In other news it was 85 degrees here today. Feels like we are jumping straight from frigid winter weather to summer heat. I wore a skirt, short sleeve shirt and sandals! I ate lunch in the park with friends, went swinging, which I haven't done in forever and read out in my backyard until I fell asleep in the sun. Such a good day. 

Proclaiming Springtime

Proclaim - verb: to announce or declare in an official or formal manner.


     It's finally here! And I can prove it. I declared to my family today that it was officially springtime because I have pulled my flip flops out of winter storage. Now for all you hardcore people out there who wear flip flops until we get the first snow... or perhaps even after that, I am a flip flop enthusiast but even I have a limit. It is probably the hardest thing for me to cope with at the end of the summer. Putting away my beloved collection of flip flops, in all their different shades of color that match so easily with any outfit. So let me tell you that their first appearance in the spring is somewhat of a milestone!


     Spring has arrived and my flip flops seeing the light of day is not the only evidence I have. I ran some errands today and of course out of the goodness of my heart I took along my faithful friend. I think of myself as a canine taxi service sometimes because I shuttle my dog around town with me but she is a good anti theft measure! A lovely breeze is blowing and I decided to roll the windows down. Good decision! It is great to smell the spring beginning. From the scent of damp earth and grass to a family sitting out on their patio enjoying the first barbecue of the season. I can tell my pooch appreciates the tantalizing odors in the air too by the way she sticks her nose out the window and lets her ears flap in the wind! 
     
     It must be in the air. After months of cabin fever everyone has to be outdoors on this beautiful day. Everywhere I look I see life blooming after a long winter. The flowerbeds outside my house have buds poking through the dirt, a couple drove by me with the top down on their convertible, the local DQ is open again and families are streaming down the sidewalk to get that tasty treat, and kids are all over the place riding their bikes! After a few days of thunderstorms it's like the world changed color overnight. The grass is GREEN! And the field are a rich brown. I can't wait to see the flowers become bursts of color that just add to the beauty. As I sit and listen to the bird chirping outside my open window I can't wait for the days to come.

Simple Thoughts: Cheesecake

This is my latest endeavor. A foray into the world of baking. Some of my favorite childhood memories are sitting in the kitchen watching my mom perform "magic"! She put all of these powders and liquids into a mixing bowl and out came yummy goodness. For Christmas this year since I recently graduated from college my mother gave me a cookbook of my favorite foods. She took the time to hand write all of the recipes for me as well as putting a note to me in the front of the book. It even had pictures of me as a kid "helping" in the kitchen! Such a great gift.

So yesterday I just felt inspired to create edible art! I think it turned out splendidly. Tonight after work my mom and I sat down and enjoyed some cheesecake together. A pretty good way to end my week.

Experiencing Wisconsin

Wisconsin - noun: a state in the N central United States: a part of the Midwest.4,705,335; 56,154 sq. mi. (145,440 sq. km). Capital: Madison. Abbreviation:  WI (for use with zip code), Wis.,Wisc.

     Today felt like a Monday for some reason. Well that reason would probably be because it was my Monday. I went on a road trip so my week started a little later than usual. I love the freedom my job gives me to just pick up and go for a few days when the mood so strikes me!

     It was a fun little trip! A good friend of mine and I went to visit a mutual friend of ours in the great state of Wisconsin. I always love driving through the country there. There are moments when I feel like I've stepped back in time, with nothing spread out before you but green rolling hills, the ever present herds of cows and big red barns dotting the rows and rows of fields waiting to be planted. It gives me a sense of what life used to be like in a simpler time.

     During our few days in small town WI we got to do some exploring. A trip to the General Store for lunch, which was absolutely amazing! The food there is so good. We poked our heads in several off the main road craft and gift shops. And then dove into the stores of treasures and fun in an antique mall. So great! Wish I could spend all day admiring what someone else thought was junk!

     Another fun activity was spending an afternoon sitting around visiting and being crafty :) We made mini scrapbooks out of paper bags, card stock, stickers and ribbon. They turned out just adorable! I think I might turn mine into a collection of quotes.

      Last but not least we tried our hand at cooking. On our lunch menu was homemade hummus and flatbread. To begin this particular project we had to venture out to the store since some of the ingredients we required are not generally found in a typical kitchen pantry. We had to try two different stores before we found what we wanted but in the end we were victorious! Both of our dishes turned out so well. It was an excellent lunch and a great ending to our WI visit! Now it's back to the daily grind, but lucky for me it's only a two day work week. Looking forward to the weekend.

Simple Thoughts: Fabric Softener

There are some things in life that we will never live down. I was reminded of one of those moments today by some good friends of mine. Yes I have had those I cannot believe I just did that moments and this is one for the history books.

Each year before making that trek to IWU where we loaded up the car and hauled all of my earthly possessions to my dorm room, my mother would take me shopping. This particular year I was going down my list of must have items and came across laundry detergent. So as we made our way down the isle I picked up various bottles and sniffed tested them. Because of course if I'm going to smell like something it must be approved first. I finally found one that met my high standards and off I went to school with my newfound treasure.

Fast forward to the next semester when I am home for Christmas break and I make the "mom will you pay for my shopping list" trip to WalMart where I proceed to pick out the same bottle of laundry detergent as the semester before. At this point my sister takes one look at my bounty and says Emily that's fabric softener. To which I replied, Oh it is? Because that's what I washed my clothes with for the last four months.

Needless to say this story got circulated and I will forever be the girl who washed her laundry with fabric softener without realizing it. Hey they may not have gotten clean, but at least they sure smelled good!

Flying Cars

Flying - adjective: floating, fluttering, waving, hanging, or moving freely in the air


     Today my boyfriend texted me and said he wants a flying car. I just sat there staring at my phone, laughing to myself, and trying to come up with a suitably witty response. After a few minutes and no creative thoughts I texted him back: I want a million dollars. Let's see who gets it first :)


     Of course being the competitive male that he is he said he was totally up for a race. I responded in kind with well you're on. But seriously why do you want a flying car. To which he answered -- who wouldn't want a flying car?


     Some days I wish I could be a little kid again. When my imagination made the world my playground. I was a princess presiding over her kingdom of stuffed animals, a pioneer girl on the prairie in my backyard or a schoolteacher lording my authority over my students, um I mean siblings. I guess these days I think it's silly to wish for the impossible. Somewhere along the way I forgot to hope for the extraordinary to happen in my life. 


Thank goodness for that silly boy I have in my life who reminds me, you are never to old to want a flying car.

Hunting Jobs

Hunt - verb: to make a search or quest

     Had anyone let me in on the secret that finding a job was this stress inducing, I do believe I would have flat out refused to graduate. Give me back those late night cram sessions before an exam, piles of homework assignments and lengthy chapters of reading from sometimes very dull textbooks. Yes I know. It seems rather odd to wish all that on oneself but there are days I do. I have always loved school. So much to learn and all that information to soak up. There are so many different choices of topics to study and new subjects to explore. I think that may be part of the reason finding a job is proving to be so difficult. I don't want to settle on any one area. I want to be able to pick and choose. To try something for awhile and see if it sparks my interest. But in today's world that is not an option. Especially with the economy the way it is. So I am stuck trying to find that job out there somewhere with my name on it. I just wish it would stop hiding and show itself. There is a reason someone came up with the phrase 'hunting for a job'. It is oh so true. They scurry around trying to make themselves scarce and you wear yourself out chasing them. Maybe if I just stay still for awhile a really good one will come my way...

Simple Thoughts: Books

There aren't too many things I enjoy in this whole wide world more than a good book. I am actually talking about a solid object made with ink and paper. Bound with a cover. Something with a little weight and heft to it. There is this magical quality about the feel of a book in one's hands. Or the smell of bookstore that moment you step inside. Maybe that's just the little coffee shop I'm thinking of but still, nothing quite compares to a place that is filled with the knowledge, adventures and experiences contained in the pages of the written word. 


Growing up one of my absolute favorite places to spend the afternoon was the library. I would lose myself in the world spun by each word the author carefully crafted. In my mind I was one of the boxcar children afraid of their Grandpa who actually loved them, I had a photographic memory like Cam Janson and I solved mysteries with Encyclopedia Brown. My mom used to call me to set the table three or four times before walking into the living room, only to find me so engrossed in my epic adventure that I was lost to this reality. 


As I have gotten older I still love the escape that the written word provides. But as with all things time has changed me. Now I no longer expect there to be a happy ending. I see books through the lens of my life experience instead of the wonder of a child. I find myself analyzing the characters and their reactions to challenges in a decidedly grown up way. That being said there must be some of that kid in me still; even now there is still that one storyline or person I find myself identifying with and rooting for whatever it may be I am currently reading. 


There is nothing quite like really good writing. It still feels like Christmas morning every time I find an author that can bring me to tears over the emotion hidden in the pages of their work. They are few and far between. But those few gems that I do find I want to collect and tuck away. 


So today I ask you. What treasures of literature have you stumbled across?

Celebrating Moms

Mother - noun: a female parent.


     As far as mothers go, I do believe I have the best one. My mom is my hero. After two weeks of trying to play house, dishes, laundry, cleaning, making dinner and trying not to ruin it. I have come to realize that my mother deserves to be worshiped. I do not know how she managed three rambunctious children, a husband, homeschooling, a household and still kept her sanity. I thought I was literally going to throw in the towel trying to cook dinner for my boyfriend. I love that along the way my relationship with my mom has developed from a parent/child dynamic to a mother/daughter friendship based on love and mutual respect. As I have worked through this stage of life where I am dipping my toes into this whole grown up world, my mom has been there every step of the way. Not hovering but a reassuring presence that knows me better than just about anyone. She should. She raised me. So much of who I am today has come from the influence of my mother's dedication to our family. I want to take this opportunity to say thank you. Thank you Mom. For the lasting impact you have made on my life. 

Simple Thoughts: Wanderlust

Today I want to run away. I want to replay that scene in Yes Man where the two main characters go to the airport and ask for tickets on the next flight out. I want to see the world. Every time I watch a movie, read a book or listen to someone tell a story I just want to have that experience. I want to see the world.

Some days I just want to pack up the car and drive. Drive until I run out of gas and see where it gets me. Who are the people I will meet along the way? What kinds of crazy stories will this adventure gain me? But this happens to be the moment in my dreaming when my practical self points out to my wishing self that it's not going to work. So I go back to watching those movies, reading that book and listening to other people's adventures. All the while with that voice in the back of my head still whispering, One day. You'll see. It can happen.

Saying Nothing

Nothing - noun, 1. no thing; not anything; naught 2. no part, share or trace 3. something that is nonexistent.


     I can say honestly that I have been dealt a very nice hand in life. A family that loves me, a good education and by most definitions a path pretty similar to the American dream. But in what equation do those things add up to happiness. Well not mine evidently. I think the worst struggle a girl will ever face in her life is feeling unwanted. There is no end to the lengths we as females will go to in order to achieve that ever elusive status, of proudly wearing the badge of someone who is wanted. It boils down to our desire to be loved. But we just don't want love. Oh no. We want the people in our life to prove it. And the way we measure their love is how much they show they want us. It sounds silly to say we keep score but come on lets admit it ladies. We do. We want our girlfriends to choose us as their maid of honor, we want our parents to be more proud of us than our siblings, and most of all we want our significant other to sacrifice something they want as a token of how much they will do for us, how much they want us. 


     But these are all internal desires. Something we would never voice out loud. Unless maybe in the quiet stillness after the lights are turned out and our best friend is listening half asleep. Why is it so hard to just say what is on one's mind? Instead of playing games and second guessing. In those quiet moments when my thoughts are just screaming at me inside my head, I choose to say... nothing. Not a word. It's as if uttering just one word of the chaos inside me will unleash a storm on the house of cards I've tried so hard to protect. In those moments when all I want to say is show me you love me. Something holds me back. Is it the fear that the answer will be something I know but am desperately trying to avoid. Maybe so. But is that enough reason to say nothing.

Growing Up

Grown Up, adjective: 1. having reached the age of maturity.
                                 2. characteristic of or suitable for adults.

     When I was a little girl all I could think about was when I would be big enough. Big enough to ride a bike. Big enough to go to a sleep over. When I was a teenager all I could think about was when I would be old enough. To watch a PG 13 movie, which by the way did not occur until I was at least 16. Old enough to drive. To be allowed to stay out late. To finally be able to leave this small town behind and do something normal for once like go away to college. When I was in college all I wanted was to know when I would get some answers. The answer to what was my major going to be. What was I going to do with my life. When would I finally find the right guy.

     Now I'm a college graduate. All I want to know is when will I be a grown up. I've gone through all the right steps. I was a good kid, I listened to my parents in high school, and seriously who does that, I was a good student in college, I have always been responsible and well mannered. But does all of that really add up to grown up status. For most of the things I've looked forward to in my life there are definite points I can say, well that goal was accomplished. The concept of being a grown up just seems to elusive. I keep waiting for that Aha moment when I will just know this is it but so far no luck with that approach. It is not easy being in an in-between state. That step, from our sheltered world of taking orders and having our lives directed to suddenly being the one behind the wheel with no wing man, can feel like a leap. And some days I just feel like I'm falling.

Telling Stories

    Story, an account or recital of an event or series of events, either true or fictitious.

On any given day we tell more stories than we can count. From talking about the person that cuts us off on our drive to work, to recounting how we accidentally pocket dialed an emergency number, we are always telling stories. More often than not we embellish and add flair because of course what's the fun if the story doesn't have a little adventure and suspense. For some people telling a story is a way of being the center of attention, for others it might be a way of expressing their creativity, and for others, myself included it is a way of storing those little moments in time that we would like to hold onto forever. It is a way of saving memories. Memories are the moments we treasure and stories are the way we share. This is my story. This is where it all begins.
  
      When my friends and I get together we do very little in the way of being productive. There is Dave, the ring leader. He always comes up with the great ideas. And usually MC's all of our arguments, well let's call them what they are - friendly discussions. Then there's Carl. The get up and do guy. He can't sit still for long and tries to motivate everyone else to pick an activity but most of the time he's not very successful. Because we have our serial indecisive duo, my two best friends, who just happen to be polar opposites yet so much alike. On the one hand we have Rachel, a girl who has had a lifelong love affair with pink, likes comfy slippers and heels a contradiction in itself and is most happy with a cup of tea and her knitting. And we have Holly, the girl who wanted to make snow angels with the boys in the dead of winter, is surgically attached to a soccer ball and cannot function without a blood coffee level of anything less than .08 on an okay day. Then there is me, Emily. The one with a mothering personality who tries to keep everyone grounded when let's be honest most days I don't have it all together myself. These are the people I love and without them I would not have the stories I do.